Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

Whilst I will always be a pop kid at heart, I have a strong dislike for excessively chirpy records. As an insomniac, I frequently find myself tormented by certain tunes that seem to squat in my brain and thumb their noses at me all night, relenting only when that ultimate of chirpy taunts – the dawn chorus – begins.

In an attempt to exorcise some of these smug ditties (that’s what they are: ditties), I hauled myself up at 4am yesterday morning and wrote a list. Here are ten tracks that have an unacceptable chirp-to-tune ratio. They will never be played at Pop ‘Til You Drop. They are the musical equivalent of someone tapping you urgently on the shoulder for twelve hours, and then shouting ‘NOTHING!’ when you finally turn around.

1. Maria Muldaur – Midnight At The Oasis

2. Jim Noir – Eany Meany

3. Jon Cutler featuring E-Man – It’s Yours

4. The Velvet Underground – I’m Sticking With You

5. Peter, Bjorn and John – Young Folks

6. Luther Vandross & Janet Jackson –

The Best Things In Life Are Free

7. OutKast – Hey Ya!

8. Len - Steal My Sunshine

9. Joni Mitchell – Big Yellow Taxi

10. Presidents of the United States of America – Peaches

SEND YOUR FUCKING CAMEL TO BED.